After many years of stammering I got fed up and angry at my stammer and how much it had taken over my life. I went on a search for my holy grail to find why I stammered. This eventually turned into how not to, as I discovered that the ‘why’ did not really matter, as long as I improved.
I spent a great deal of time and money on all sorts of therapies both alternative and traditional. They all helped in their own way, but I was still completely confused and frustrated. How I could talk to certain people and not to others, sometimes within seconds of each other? Did I have a stammer or a confidence/self esteem problem?
I found the greatest tools came from NLP. (see FAQ's What is NLP) These tools were simple, easy to learn, and yet life changing. I have used these same tools in all of my courses working with a variety of problems. These range from helping with low self esteem and confidence, to stress management, finding a work-life balance, weight loss programmes and self motivation. Other problems which I helped overcome included: shyness, passing driving tests, job interviews and helping sports individuals and teams, to achieve success.
How do they work on so many problems?
Simply because in every situation we use our minds. You cannot separate the body from the mind, they must work together as a team and when they do is unstoppable. Take for example a job interview: we will run it over and over in our mind days, and sometimes weeks beforehand, normally in a worried, negative way and this conditions our mind and our body follows accordingly. How many times do we say “I knew I was going to drop that or say the wrong thing?”.
Our mind can make heaven out of hell or hell out of heaven.
By using football as an analogy, we can visualise the goal posts as being very narrow and the goal keeper bigger than he actually is. This appears to be the case for the England team and penalty shoot outs!
In my case, I realised that my stammer was also affected by my mind. For instance, if I felt comfortable with someone I stammered much less or not at all. But if I was nervous of anyone I came into contact with, because of their position in relation to myself, for example: teacher, policeman, bank manager, then I found that I stammered. So I began to look at why this was happening, and realised there was a whole set of other reasons that affected how I spoke: my body language, my beliefs about the person, situation, or myself. This then had an influence on how I usually rehearsed it over and over again in my head,
My whole day became measured my how many times I had stammered, and this equalled a good day or not, depending on the amount. It felt like my whole body and mind centred upon my stammer and speech. It was taking over so much of my life, my choices, my hobbies, my relationships, my body and so much more. When I realised that there was so much more to me than just my stammer, this helped me to mentally shrink my stammer. It became the size of my finger nail, and it opened me up to my true potential. Now I see my stammer as a small part of me that has helped me and toughened me to life’s other challenges.
I still have a stammer, but I control 95% of it rather than the reverse.
It has taken me over forty years to work this all out, but buying this e-book will save you all those years and pain. I know what doesn’t work and what does, so you save time and money. The best comparison to what I can help you achieve is to use the world of sport again as an example. A professional golfer might spend years correcting a tiny adjustment to his technique which enhances his game massively, but possesses the ability to teach this to others in a matter of minutes. In NLP this is called Modelling: -the Difference that makes the difference - Copying, that is: people that do things that work that get positive results.
I am not a speech therapist, therefore I will not be teaching speech therapy. However, the tools I use can change in a positive way how you will feel about yourself, about others that used to make you nervous, and how you feel about your stammer.
This e-book will also help you to change how you think, change your self- talk to change from negative to more positive, and reverse the outcome to a positive one. It will work to improve your body language and have it work for you, not against you. This e-book will play a large part in improving your self confidence and self esteem therefore will increase your chances of speaking fluently.
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Also, if you do experience a difficult situation, recovery would be more rapid. This would then prevent one bad situation causing another one to occur. This is normally what happens with a stammer.
It would be wrong of me to promise you that you will be 100% fluent, for the rest of your lives.
But what I do promise, however, is to give you a mental tool kit that will definitely improve your speech, confidence and self esteem, as well as your ability to be so much more than just a stammerer.
I repeat I am not a speech therapist. What I am, is a person with a stammer who uses tools that work. These tools have changed my life from being a shy teenager to becoming a confident life coach, fitness/martial arts instructor and corporate trainer.
I am proof these tools work. If you made a bet/wager me a few years ago, that I would be running corporate courses, with high level managers and doing motivation speeches, I would have thought you were having a joke with me. But now through personal experience and learned techniques I can show you how you to overcome hurdles which have seemed impossible in the past.
Using all the tools and techniques that are in the e-book I have had great successes, both personally and professionally.
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I am a former British Middleweight Kickboxing Champion and have 30 years experience in Martial Arts, being a self-employed Instructor and Fitness Trainer for the past 20 Years.
In 1995, I devised a fitness regime called Kickfit®, which combines boxing with kickboxing, but is non-contact. I teach classes myself, (average 100 students per session) and have also trained over 30 Instructors to deliver the classes throughout the Merseyside and North West region.
The classes are very successful and have had annual attendances of over 47,000. I believe that the reason for my success is the style of delivery and the time taken to meet every student’s needs. Apart from the physical workout, the students are constantly stimulated mentally and the skills I develop within them helps to keep each individual motivated to maintain an effective training regime.
I am a qualified masseur and sports therapist, practicing for the past 15 years. I am also a trained and qualified counsellor and hypnotherapist. I have also undertaken training in stress management, which I now incorporate into the courses that I deliver in the corporate world.As a result of the work I was doing, I became increasingly interested in exploring the close link between mind and body. As a result I have become a Practitioner of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) NLP encompasses all of skills I have gained over the years and then takes the whole approach a step further by focusing on practical methods to overcome phobias; change mind-sets; learn new/good habits; all aimed at improving the quality of our lives and developing the infrastructure that assists us to achieve our life goals.
I am a positive, open and enthusiastic person who believes that the only limits we have to our achievements are those that we set ourselves. As a result, I have developed many courses on motivation and stress management which I deliver to a wide range of clients, from senior and middle management of large multi-national corporations, to school children approaching examinations using 1-2-1 techniques. I am committed and very passionate about helping people achieve their full potential in all areas of their lives.